Okay the time has come for me to make some New Years Resolutions and stick to them!! This year is it kiddies. Actual bona fide New Years resolutions that I am gonna make and stick to. So without further yappage, here they are:

1. I am going to pursue my writing with a vengeance this year. I am going to use my famous almost ex-daughter in law Diablo Cody as inspiration to do that. She has accomplished some pretty great things pursuing her writing career with her successes with Candy Girl and Juno. It has been so much fun seeing her accomplish just what she set out to do with all of that.

I am sad that she and Jon aren't going to make it together in the future, but it is cool that they are able to remain friends, and I wish her nothing but the best. I'm sure she doesn't need that from me, but it is there for her anyway.

I am almost not sure if I should call DC my daughter in law or birth daughter in law. Jonny calls me his birthmom, cuz that is what I am. I am kinda the Juno in the story who gave my baby son up for adoption and stuck to it, even when I wanted to rush back and take him home with me - time after time during the whole process. Even when he was a year old - two years old I considered going back and fighting the adoption.. There were some irregularities that I discovered in the whole process, that would have enabled me to do just that. I decided against it though - decided not to break the hearts of the mom and dad who were raising him and cherishing him. I don't regret my restraint, although I spent lots of years yearning for the son I birthed but never got to hold or see.

It is such a gift to me now to have him in my life. My brown eyed son - tender, gentle, handsome, intelligent, talented. He calls me Birthmom. I call him son. It is hard for him to have two moms - I understand that. He is getting used to it. It is no stretch at all for me to have two sons. He had a spot in my heart from the moment he was conceived. The spot that was a bit of a hole, is now filled. I am complete.

OK, back to the resolutions:

2. Get healthy so I can be around for a long time to enjoy my kids and grandkids. That involves a fitness program and getting a good physicial exam with all of the tests that are age appropriate for me. I have neglected to do that for a few years. Here I am married to a doctor and I never seek medical care - like the shoemaker's family who has no shoes, I guess. My own fault though. Along with that, some badly needed dental work. Ouch!! It is sure to be a bit of a tension filled, painful new year, but in the end I will be better off, right?

3. Finally take and pass the darned bar exam!!! I graduated from law school in 1988, and I have never practiced law. I have taken tons of training in various aspects of the law including Intellectual Property and Mediation. Now I am finally going to get admitted to the State Bar Association. It is time. I might need my legal career as a fall back position, in our plans for multiple streams of income.

4. Laugh more.

5. Worry less.

6. Clean out my cluttered, over-filled closets once and for all. Get rid of the size 14's and the size 20's. The 14's are out of style and the 20's have always been too big. Stack the 18's up too, cuz they are already a little too big. Focus on those 16's, which fit, but are a tad tight. Get into those first and work my way down in size to an eventual size 10. I will be happy there. I promise. I used to be a perfect size 7. Now I will feel perfect in size 10. I can and will do it!!

So that is it, my resolutions for this year. I am determined to do them, and when I get determined, shit happens!! I'll keep you all posted on my progress this year, but it's gonna be a good one. I can feel it!!

OK, so today is my 58th birthday. All of a sudden I am staring 60 right in the eye, and I am uncomfortably close to 65, the traditional age of retirment. I don't even want to think about that right now, because it would bring on a panic attack if I have to think of the piles of money we have NOT put away for retirement as of yet. Face it, something really big and really wonderful has to happen in my life in the next few years that will bring me heaps of money. I have all the faith in the world that that will happen. No, I mean this. I truly do believe something really wonderful is on the horizon and it will bring me the financial security that we will need to secure a comfortable future for us and a good inheritance for the kids. I figure that will take about oh, $5,000,000. That way we can live on the interest and leave the rest for all of the progeny.

So, enough stressing about all of that. Now on to fun thoughts. What things have I not done that I still want to accomplish in my life? I would love to publish some of my writing in the next few years. I have some things started, some things done, and some ideas to develop. I would love to travel to England, Italy, Turkey, Scotland, and Hawaii. I would like to spend at least a month in each of those places. I would love to pick up the violin and learn to play it all over again and also the mandolin that is in my closet - just waiting for me. I would love to dance with John Travolta - just once or maybe once for a long period of time. I just wanna dance with him, okay? And most of all, I would love to find a cure for SMA (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) the disease that plagues my grandson Cole. If I could do that, I will forfeit all of the above mentioned items.

I have had a great day - a few notes from my lifetime friends, and my thoughtful family. My hubby is taking me to Florida for a week to do Disney our way - without anyone else along. What more could a girl ask for? Not much, I think.

God, the unspeakable happened a couple of weeks ago, and I am just now able to talk about it. Lucy, one of our sweet little schnauzers ran away for the first time in her life and horror of horrors got hit by a car! She was six years old, more than a little hyper and filled with the joy of a puppy. We both studiously protected and cared for her all of her six years and kept her from her own wild impulses as much as we could manage. There was never a day when we went to put her on her leash, when we didn't encounter a complete wrestling match. She was always a writhing mass of energy, but she was also sweet and good natured.
I held her in my lap when she was just a pup and she learned to cuddle and relax there. She did that always - every chance she got. She wasn't a messy, smelly dog and she had the perkiest, floppiest ears you could ever imagine on a dog whose ears were supposed to be cropped at birth. She was just gorgeous, a perfect schnauzer specimen. Now there is only Maddie left. Maddie who is getting more spoiled by the day. She used to be the follower, now she is trying to take over as alpha. The once docile timid little girl is trying her wings. I don't think there will be a new puppy to fill the gap that Lucy left. I don't think either of us is up for the heartbreak that would bring if we saw another fragile little dog life snuffed out in an instant. It is just too hard for Frank especially. I have never thought myself to be a dog person, but I'll surely miss Lucy!!

I suddenly find myself in a very good mood. I didn't start out that way today, by any means. But looking back on the past few weeks is making me feel very satisfied at the moment. First of all, I have finally managed to settle a state tax audit that has been going on and on for 19 months now. The state department of revenue just arbitrarily decided to assess my husband and myself additional taxes to the tune of almost $80K and I basically had to work like hell to get it whittled down to about 1/4 of that. Mind you, every deduction we took was legal and above board, but when they decide to disallow them JUST BECAUSE, it is up to you to convince them that those deductions were real and allowable according to the law. Even when you do that to the best of your abilities, they still stick to their initial decision giving you small concessions along the way. This whole process has taken about as long as it takes an elephant to conceive and deliver a baby, and it felt just the same to me - like giving birth to a baby elephant. In the end, we could have paid an attorney the same amount to go to tax court to fight the thing, as we ended up settling for. It just sux!! Once they get you on the hook, you're gonna pay something Buster!!
The second thing I feel good about is that my husband and I survived a week at Disney World in the middle of July with two teenagers and neither one of us succumbed to heat stroke. Thank goodness the two of them were old enough to be able to run around on their own quite a bit, or we would never had made it. They stayed out later than us, and started out earlier, but when we were out there trudging through the parks, it felt just like my dad described boot camp to be in the late '40's - Africa hot and dehydrating! One night I woke up with a heart beating faster than I could count. I knew I hadn't had enough fluid the day before and I was even having nightmares. I quickly downed about two quarts of water and began to feel better. In fact I felt good enough to get right back out there and do it again by evening. It is amazing how much you appreciate every cloud and every little breeze when you are in that kind of heat. If we weren't such softies, maybe we could turn our granddaughter down when she bats those long eyelashes at us and asks us to take her and her boyfriend down to Disney World, but we can't - so we have to do the next best thing - hydrate!!

Wax on - Wax off. I have been painting this week and since our new clinic is located in the center of a Wellness Center there is some very meditative music playing in the background and we are very quiet, because there are massages going on down the hall. I feel like the guy in the movie The Karate Kid when Mr. Miyagi has him waxing the fence. It is quiet and it is just me and the paint brush and the soft music. It has really felt good to do something very physical this past few days. I am going to be disappointed when I finish and can't do that level of activity every day. Although I do have a very large townhouse that needs paint everywhere, so there is a chance if I can find time, I can paint that too! There is something so satisfying about a job well done, and painting gives that satisfaction.
The clinic is coming along very well. I am working to decorate it in a Feng Shui manner to accentuate the natural healing and acupuncture that will be going on there. I am hoping that both Frank and I will enjoy this new venture. We generally work well together, but we are both very strong willed people, so there are those moments of silent heated arguments behind closed doors when we come to an impasse. If anyone could see behind those doors, they would see two people with bulging eyes and pantomime moves that look like a cross between Harpo Marx and The Three Stooges (except it is usually me that does the eye poking - just kidding!). We usually manage to get our differences mediated and the solution is usually something better than either of us could have thought of on our own, so it is all good.

I'm heading to Tucson for a week - accompanying my husband Frank as he starts his fellowship in Integrative Medicine with Dr. Andrew Weil. I am very excited for him. This is a whole new direction he is taking in his medical career. He just finished a course in Medical Acupuncture. I have actually taken a few treatments from him and I am totally afraid of needles. I have to say, it didn't hurt and the pain went away in my neck and upper back as a result. I had to be one of his worst patients. I kept shrieking "Don't puncture my lungs!" and "Don't hit my spinal cord!". I could tell he was chuckling to himself as he reassured me that he wouldn't be going anywhere near that deep, and the needles weren't that long. I have to say those needles are so thin, I didn't feel much at all when they went in, and after they were in, I didn't feel them at all. He hooked little boxes powered by batteries to the needles and I felt a little bit of thumping in my muscles. Again, nothing uncomfortable.

When he finished the neck and upper back treatment, I sat up to switch positions for a kidney tonification that he wanted to do to increase my overall energy level. I wasn't sold on getting another whole treatment, but I am really glad I did. I felt an overall increase in energy and feelings of well being for weeks after that. I am actually going to take one of those again soon.

I don't know if I can completely credit the acupuncture, but for the first time in my life I have gotten a regular exercise program going and am losing weight that I have been struggling to lose for years. Maybe it is because I feel a lot better and the muscles don't ache. Whatever has brought me to this point, I am rejoicing.

Tucson isn't as warm as I would wish right now, but I am going to enjoy 60 something compared to 20 something. And when we get back, we are home for a few days and then off to Disney World for a week. Most of the kids and grandkids are coming. It will be a blast, no doubt about it. I'm a little sad that my birthson Jon, his wife Brook, and daughter (my adorable granddaughter) Nadija can't come this time. They are just going to start shooting Brook's movie Juno, and I am so excited for both of them. These are exciting times in their lives. Disney World can wait. We'll do it sometime soon. In the meantime, these are very good times for all of us.