Dog Joy. Have you noticed that dogs have a certain innocence and loyalty that you just can't find in the human world? They will take whatever you have to give them at the moment - a scrap from the table or an ear scratch, or even a reprimand, because it means you are paying some kind of attention. They will sit at your feet for hours while you work - completely content to be in your company. Good friends, these dogs of mine, but I'm not typically an animal person. I am more than a little self absorbed, and usually the only people that can supplant my own needs are my husband, my kids and my grandkids - not necessarily in that order. There are downsides to dog ownership however. For instance when I am eating, they both sit at my feet and watch every damn bite that goes into my mouth. If I should drop a crumb, they both scramble to retrieve it like a school of piranha after an unsuspecting frog. And, when I accidentally drop my hand to the seat of my chair while at the computer, one of them is there to lick it! I am a certifiable germophobe and dog slime does not make me happy, especially on my hands. I completely understand Lucy in the Peanuts comic strip when she screams "Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!" And on the subject of icky, I really hate having to go outside with them and wait for each of them to finally decide to poop! Not only do I have to stand there and witness the poop coming out of them - something I would never choose to do - but I have to bend down and scoop it up in a plastic bag and carry it all the way home to dispose of in my handy dandy Diaper Genie in the garage. I don't like smells, and I don't like disgusting sights like that, and YUCK! There I am picking up dog poop! And why do they have to poop so damned much? It is a good thing they are so cute. Their little perky schnauzer ears and spunky little bodies almost make up for the downside, especially when I am sad and they know it, and they just come and sit beside me just to let me know they care. AWWWW! Maybe I am a dog person after all.

Today is Jon's birthday. It has been 5 months since we found each other, and the time has gone very quickly. I was so excited all day yesterday to know for the first time since he has been born, I get to be at his birthday party. Every other year, his birthday has been a day of quiet reflection for me, when I spent the time wondering where he might be, and constructing scenarios in my mind about what he might be doing, where he might be, what he might look like, and all the time the nagging doubt in my mind that he might not be alright at all, because at the time of his birth, I was overcome with anxiety about his well-being. Now I know...that he is a wonderful guy, talented, witty, intellegent, good looking and most of all kind and caring. He is everything I could have ever dreamed he was, and more. And Nadija and Brook are all a part of this wonderful new chapter in our lives. It is all good, and more than adequate compensation for all the years of sadness that used to surround his birthday. October is once again a month of possibility for me. It used to be that way when I was a child. October was always an exciting time, since my birthday and my two sisters' birthdays fall in October and fall - the best season of the year was in full swing. When Jon was born and I had to give him up for adoption, October became a bitter sweet month for me. Now, it is once again a month of pure joy and unending possibility.