Today is Jon's birthday. It has been 5 months since we found each other, and the time has gone very quickly. I was so excited all day yesterday to know for the first time since he has been born, I get to be at his birthday party. Every other year, his birthday has been a day of quiet reflection for me, when I spent the time wondering where he might be, and constructing scenarios in my mind about what he might be doing, where he might be, what he might look like, and all the time the nagging doubt in my mind that he might not be alright at all, because at the time of his birth, I was overcome with anxiety about his well-being. Now I know...that he is a wonderful guy, talented, witty, intellegent, good looking and most of all kind and caring. He is everything I could have ever dreamed he was, and more. And Nadija and Brook are all a part of this wonderful new chapter in our lives. It is all good, and more than adequate compensation for all the years of sadness that used to surround his birthday. October is once again a month of possibility for me. It used to be that way when I was a child. October was always an exciting time, since my birthday and my two sisters' birthdays fall in October and fall - the best season of the year was in full swing. When Jon was born and I had to give him up for adoption, October became a bitter sweet month for me. Now, it is once again a month of pure joy and unending possibility.